Institutionalized nonspecificity

Or How I try to explain to people what I do (and usually fail)
.....................................................................................

Them: I'm a sales manager at Widget Corporation (or Professor of History at Doomsbury University or in fact, any title where you can tell what the job is). How about you?

Me: (slightly embarassed) Uh..I'm a consultant.

The polite audience nods sagely before letting a slightly confused expression show. Others, they simply move on to the next question.

Them: What kind of consultant?

Me: (knowing that this is not going to make things better) Strategy consultant, actually. You know, we typically work with senior management at companies on large strategic issues.

Everyone realizes at this point that things are clear as mud, and the topic is dying. The more determined audience, in an effort to prove their determination, ask for examples. This is almost always a dead-end because management consultants typically won't give out specific examples.

The more creative audience decides to ask for my job title (or, politely, for a business card). And there, in bold print on the business card, it says...

Them:...Oh, so you are an Associate...

I wince, and wait for it. We both know they are thinking of the Associate at Bloomingdale's who helped them find the nice pashmina for Grandma.

Them:..which means..?

Me: It's kind of like a manager. That means I'm usually in charge of solving one particular problem, and sometimes I also have people working for me.

Them: oh. ok.

Silence. Then we move on.